On an early trip back to my roots, when our children were
small, we visited Pattonsburg, Bethany, McFall, and St Joseph in Northern
Missouri. I had forgotten how hilly parts of the landscape were. I had
forgotten the sounds and the smells. Standing outside the car on the side of
the road I took a deep breath and remembered home. The farm and the house in
Pattonsburg. The one room school house, and the brick school in town. Going to
the Methodist church in town and marching down the street with the band in St.
Joseph. “Here comes a band that is so big they don’t have enough uniforms,” the
announcer said during the apple blossom parade. How many times can you sing 99
bottles of beer on the wall going to a basketball game in another town?
Those are memories and they were made like the hills with many
ups and downs. But what can you do when you suddenly find that the hill only goes
down, down all of the way?
I told a friend that I had expected to hear the news I heard
at the doctor’s office on Tuesday, but nonetheless it still stunned me and I
had not yet absorbed it. And I still haven’t. Brad has moved from mild
cognitive impairment to early stage Alzheimer’s. That means the hill will keep going
down—it won’t get better—it won’t level out…..
For my devotions I use Touchstone’s
Daily Devotional Guide. I am actually addicted to it. There is usually an
Old Testament reading, a Gospel reading, another New Testament reading and one
or several Psalms. But the day after receiving the news from the doctor I ended
up skipping my reading in Exodus. I started it but somehow reading about how to
furnish the tabernacle just wasn’t helping—but yes, the Psalms, always the
Psalms—they are, through our union with Christ, our prayers, because they are
his.
Steady all the way through, he is there, Jesus is there. Afterwards,
at home, Brad prayed for us. Not I, but Brad. And he talked of how we must
continue to enjoy our future. It is downhill, but the end is home. The saints
in the City of God—those enrolled in heaven. The city full of angels. The City
of light. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
